The Wisdom of the Burning Foot

When we master something, anything in our lives, it means we are ready for the next layer of the lesson. We work to soften, strengthen, and expand our bodies so that we can do the same with our minds and spirits. We have moments in which we feel, see and speak with clarity, and times thrashing around in the muddy water. Learning to stand with equanimity through these cycles is what brings me to the mat each day.

Bring on the lesson of the “burning foot.” Just days after getting my children into their first days of school, launching the Abundant Yoga project in earnest, and settling into the routines of fall I developed a “burning foot.” The first time the sensation flooded my foot I was driving, so I looked at the heater assuming the car was malfunctioning. The first day it happened once, the following day a couple of times, within 5 days if was happening most of the time and I began losing sensation on the top of my foot. I was shuffled into the doctor’s office, sent directly to a neurologist, and am now immersed in various investigations to discover what exactly my nerves are up too.

But that really isn’t the interesting part…as in all of life; the really interesting part is our RESPONSE to what is happening. My first response was denial. Although I married a man who later became a physician, I do not like “going to the doctor” (and my doctor is VERY NICE and WONDERFUL). I have a screw lose about my needing a doctor as a failing on my part…story for another day. However, I could see worry in the eyes of my very level headed hubby, so I went. As soon as the litany of tests and appointments began to stack up I fell into fear.  My mind began to race to the BIG STUFF:

cancerous tumor?

something life-threatening?

what about my husband/children?

…bad thoughts. Note: I do not have a tumor (tests have shown that so far), but my mind went on a huge dramatic journey of its own. The race moved on to focusing on the SMALL STUFF and making it BIG STUFF:

the appointments are inconvenient!

how will I keep the momentum of the Abundant Yoga Project going!

is my balance affected with the burning/numb foot?!

these persistent sensations are annoying me!

I saw two choices. Choice A would involve opening too many bottles of wine and indulging a pity-party, so I went to Choice B. I took this mental chatter to the mat. In a pose, we sometimes find the “ah-ha” moment by softening what can be softened, and bringing breath and strength to places of need with our intention. We recognize that we can be simultaneously strong and soft. I did not need to approach the burning foot with the hammer of denial, nor go limp in fear/pity. My burning foot is the supreme lesson in this basic yogic principle. I need to soften my need for control and bring my breath to continue to strengthen my body while listening to my foot. I can then truly accept the gift of “this is it,” burning foot and all. Doctors may provide an answer to the nerve issue; it may go away on its own, I may need surgery next week. That is the future. What I have is today, what I do with it, how I treat others, time to hug my kids, enjoy my work, get awesome on the mat, love my husband, and recognize my great abundance. Thank you burning foot for bringing another layer of learning to my ever-expanding practice.